TLDR; A year ago my mental health hit rock bottom and I attempted suicide twice in a short time, landing me in psych ward. I’m medicated and in therapy and it’s really been paying off. I’m dating an amazing guy now and he knows I’ve struggled mentally but he doesn’t even know the half of it. I feel like I should tell him but I’m afraid that it’s too much for anyone to handle.
I (27F) have been dating this guy (26M) a couple of weeks now and though I’ve dated and been in relationships, this is the first time everything just feels right. Being with him feels easy and natural, and I feel safe just being myself when I’m with him. Which is saying a lot because I’m usually very cautious and guarded when dating, even if the guy is being absolutely lovely.
Now here’s my thing: I’ve dealt with mental health problems since I was a kid (ADHD, anxiety and depression) but my struggles were lways manageable or sometimes even non-existent. The past couple of years have been particularly bad, to the point where I thought I’d lost my mind and was too far gone. I attempted suicide twice last year, and the second attempt landed me in the hospital after which I had to go to psych ward for two months. I was on a shit ton of meds and went through all kinds of intensive therapy. That whole journey has been going on for about a year now, and I’m genuinely proud of how far I’ve come. I’m still in therapy and I take a low dose of antidepressants, but this might be the most stable, confident and happiest I’ve been in a very long time. I’m not afraid I’ll ever attempt again as I’ve really been doing the work to pull myself out of that dark space.
I don’t usually feel the need to share my past with (new) people because I don’t want to be defined by it and also, it’s nobody’s business. With this guy though, I think it’d be weird to keep it from him as I see this actually becoming something serious. I want to be honest and vulnerable with him, but it’s a hard topic to bring up and I’m afraid my suicidal past is a dealbreaker. So: should I tell him? How long is it acceptable to keep this from him? And how on earth do I bring this up? Any thoughts and comments are deeply appreciated.
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