So backstory is I (M21) met this girl (21, all pronouns, pansexual) from tinder about a month ago (texted on tinder for a couple weeks prior). Anyway, we go on a first date and instantly hit it off and go on 2 more great dates, we have allot in common in terms of music, movies, gaming and this girl is PERFECT, she's so my type and she's so intelligent and sweet and I've never been smitten by someone before.
Anyway for a background, she's a very slow texter, and a pretty dry texter. It definitely wasn't until I met her that I knew I really clicked with her (I guess that's normal, idk, I don't have much dating experience which is probably an important thing to note). Whenever i would text her I'd usually get a reply a day or two later and it would usually be pretty dry. Sometimes it would take almost a week and I would sometimes get worried but she'd always reply eventually and everything would be fine. (also important to note she's very busy at work 5 days a week but never busy on weekends)
And when we're together the vibe is completely different, conversation is so easy with her, which shows me that it doesn't really mean anything when she replies slowly. She doesn't do it on purpose and it doesn't mean she doesn't like me, so I wasn't worried. I know allot of people who are very slow or very bad texters and while communication is very important to me, I understand and sympathise with that behaviour even if it does hurt my feelings when my messages get left on read.
Now the current situation: after our last (3rd) date, which also went great, we texted to let eachother know we got home safe, and this was the last I'd heard from her, 2 weeks ago now(03/12/23).
The following are the texts I sent her following that exchange:
03/12/23 - same evening:
"Thank you so much for today Emma it was really lovely Thank you for showing me around!!"
-left on read, somewhat to be expected
06/12/23 - 3 days later:
"Hiya Emma hope you're having an amazing week! x" "How are you?"
-remained unread, until my next message. If she had replied I was going to pivot the convo to asking her out on a 4th date
09/12/23 - the only day off from work i had to actually see this girl. And the day I was going to ask her out for was the next day, so I decided to just text her again and ask her instead of waiting for her to reply:
"Heyy I know it's a little last minute last minute but I was wondering if you were free tomorrow?"
-left on read the next day, including the previous message. - was also accompanied by one missed call (my friends suggestion)
I include all this information even if it is probably petty and insignificant just because I'm normally a huge stickler for double texting etc (and triple or even quadruple texting Is something I would normally NEVER do) because I like this girl and I'm so scared about fucking this up and I really don't want to swarm her.
Anyway the most important thing is I really really feel like this girl isn't the type to ghost or never text back. She's very kind. So a small part of me believes there's still a chance.
She told me she's going away to see family over Christmas break so she'll be gone between soon-Ish and around mid January so in maybe another week or so if I don't hear back from her I'm willing to try sending one last text that would say something along the lines of how I feel about her, and how I'd love to see her again when she gets back but if not, if she could let me know either way. (obviously this will have to be a very delicately composed message)
So I really just want to get peoples opinions, perspectives and advice about this. Whether it's hopeful encouragement or harsh truths but I tried to give as much info as I could. So please tell me what you think and what I should say to her. Or if there's any more details you wanna know. Id especially like the opinions on people who are similarly bad texters, or in a relationship with people who are like that.
Sorry if this is a mess to read, thank you
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