A virgin, haven't even kissed. I lurk around here a lot so I see lots of these "early 20s virgin" posts almost everyday but this one is a little different, or I think so at least?
I have the medical condition "vaginismus". For those who don't know what it is, search it up. My weight and that condition have been the biggest causes to why I'm entering the dating scene rather "late".
A year ago, I began my weight loss journey at the same time as I began curing this condition. Have managed to lose almost 22kg/50 pounds so far and I'm only a few kg away from a healthy weight (although a bit further from my goal weight itself). As for my vaginismus, I did lots of physiotherapy (such as dilating and pelvic floor exercises) and have manged to cure most of it by now.
The thing is, I imagine that a man inside of me will obviously feel much more different than a dilator, so I don't know how my body will react once it actually happens. This condition derives mostly from psychological issues, that's why I don't wanna say that it is fully cured yet. The fact is that it can come back at any time if certain events happen, or I suddenly feel unsafe/uncomfortable.
I'm gonna soon try and enter into the dating world slowly as I'm still on a weight loss journey and am focusing a lot on that. But how do I approach dating with my condition? I've come across lots of guys at this age who don't even want to deal with any virgin to begin with, nevermind someone with "vaginismus". By the way, I'm speaking for my country, it might be different in other regions? It doesn't help that I'm Middle-Eastern too (born and raised in Sweden), so many guys automatically think I'm religious and am waiting until marriage.
What I've gathered so far by lurking around is that you shouldn't mention your virginity until you're really close to sex. But I would imagine that it's a bit different for someone with this condition? I'm scared that I will scare off any guy by mentioning this condition.
I think it'll take more than 3 dates for me to feel safe and comfortable with a guy. I feel like I shouldn't put a timeline on it, but I'm almost a 100% sure that it will take more than 3 dates.
TLDR; I have vaginismus. How do I approach the dating world with thus condition? Do I mention it to them or only once we're really close to sex?
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