I (M31) have been dating a lovely woman (F24) for 5 months.
The thing that worries me is that I am definitely an anxious attachment person. She seems to exhibit traits of an avoidant. For some reason these are the women that I usually end up dating.
I really like her and want this to continue and get more serious. However, I’m always second guessing where I stand in the relationship. There have been two times where she’s been oddly cold and distant, only to come right back to “normal” within days. This past weekend was one of those times, where she was kind of distant for a day, saw her the next day and everything was back to normal.
My questions are:
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how do I not constantly obsess over where I stand with her?
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how do I learn to not need constant reassurance and affirmation? I.e. go with the flow?
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how do I learn to let go, and not totally crumble into depression and self loathing on the chance that this doesn’t end up lasting?
This anxiety is getting debilitating. Today I found myself worrying that she’s going to break up with me because she didn’t text me right away and when she did it was very basic, with no “babe” or emoji or smiley faces. I know this is somewhat ridiculous thing to obsess over, but I can’t seem to stop.
Overall, I just don’t want my entire headspace to be filled with “what if she doesn’t like anymore?”. I want to he more self assured and confident with however this relationship turns out.
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