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Saturday, May 18, 2024

Unsure about relationship

I’m a 23F my boyfriend 24M and I have been dating for almost two years.

I feel lost in my relationship. My boyfriend joined the navy short a year into our relationship. At first I didn’t mind the distance cause I’m pretty independent and wasn’t super worried. We got through basic and his school to which I thought we’d be able to talk and stuff after, but he immediately went underway when we got assigned his station and when we got back they were going right to deployment which he is currently on and not coming back till October at the latest I believe. He has a four year contract and currently just hit year two a couple months ago. I’ve been able to visit him twice during a-school and that’s it.

We couldn’t talk during bootcamp and then we got to talk a little during a-school but he was pretty busy. Then went underway and could only talk if the boat was at the port. And currently same situation now but never a full conversation cause of time zone and both of us being busy when the other can talk. I don’t know if it’s just the lack of communication and/or for a while he was very depressed and would only complain to me and didn’t talk about anything else and it started taking a toll on me cause we never discussed anything but him. He also doesn’t know what he wants to do after his contract and it feels like I’m just waiting around for him to decide and my life has to now go around his. He doesn’t know if he wants to stay in the navy and try be an officer or leave and try to get a job. On top of that he doesn’t really even know what career field he wants. I think all of this is causing me to loose feelings and I find it difficult to even talk to him or want to talk to him.

I don’t know what to do?? I believe I still love him and he cares for me and is a great boyfriend, but this doesn’t feel like a relationship when we don’t talk or do anything and I don’t know what the future holds.

TL:dr - dating my boyfriend in the military and starting to lose feelings and unsure about our future.

submitted by /u/Efficient-Analyst-53
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