Hi reddit, i’m in desperate need of opinions and advice. This has been eating me alive for the last day and a half and i need to get it off my chest.
To start off let me give you some back story, I (22F) am a bisexual who hasn’t really had much experience in today’s hookup culture. i’ve previously only had 2 sexual partners, both who I was in serious committed relationships with. On top of that, I live in a small town made up of about 2,000 ish people in a very red state where everyone knows everyone.
I’m out as a bisexual to my friends and family but not to my coworkers or anybody in town out of fear of being talked about and overall just not accepted.
With that being said, one night i was bored and figured why not get on tinder, it’s summer time and i wanted to have some fun. After making my account I started to scroll, most of everyone didn’t catch my eye, no women, no men, until i came across Addie’s (19F)profile (fake name). I thought she was gorgeous, had an alternative style and reading through her profile we had very similar views. I liked her and next day we matched. For the next 2 weeks we texted every day, sending each other good morning and goodnight texts, talking almost all day every day.
Come to find out, I used to work alongside her father. When we found out we both felt weird but we laughed about it and continued to still talk. The perks of living in a small town i guess.
She let me know she was only here for the summer as she lives with her mom in a town about 5 ish hours away where she’s also attending college.
Fast Forward we make plans to hang out. I told her i’d pick her up and take her to dinner and then a movie. She agreed and then i confessed that i had never done this before. I told her I was nervous and she confessed she was nervous too, went on to tell me she also had never done this with another girl, only men.
The day before the hangout she texts me and asks again about our plans and what we were doing, i again mention dinner and a movie.
She then proceeded to suggest that i come over to her place instead and watch a movie in her room. In hindsight this should’ve been my first red flag. I told her i’d rather go out and do our original plans if that was okay with her, she said yes and suggested we do the movie at her place for our 2nd date.
The following day was our date, the entire day i was nervous but excited, I picked her up and we had a great time. Turns out were extremely similar, family wise, music wise, and opinion wise.
Hell we were matching clothes and it wasn’t even planned.
We had a great time at dinner and the movie, giggling to each other the entire time, making fun of people around us when we’d hear them say some out of pocket shit at dinner, took photos, jammed out to music and spoke about our deep family lore.
It was at this point where i realized that if things didn’t progress i’d be okay with just keeping her as a friend. That’s how amazing i thought this girl was.
After the movie ended we drove back to our home town which was about 1 hr and 30 min- during the drive i asked if it would be okay if i stopped somewhere to make out (corny i know) but i wanted to ensure she would be okay beforehand. Sure enough she says yes and we stop somewhere.
This is where I think i fucked up. When hooking up I got kinda rough and bit at her lips and neck. I got carried away and left some dark marks on her neck. When we got done she spoke up and told me that I “Fucked her shit up” while rubbing her neck. I asked her if she thought i was too rough and she laughed and said “a tad bit” - i then apologized over and over again and she kept giggling saying it was okay and to not worry about it, she said it was just super inconvenient because she was supposed to take a trip the following morning with her family for father’s day. but assured me that she’s covered up marks before and knows how to do it. After that it got weird, the entire day we were both yapping non stop and after the hookup, she went silent. she stopped talking and this made me panic inside, i kept apologizing and grabbing her hand. She just continued to say it was okay.
Finally i asked her if she was gonna ghost me after this and she replied with “no i won’t it’s okay really”
This kinda made me feel better but it was still awkward. The entire drive back to her house was silent, i held her hand and figured i should just stop talking.
When we finally got to her house, she turned and told me that she had a great time and she had so much fun with me and basically thanked me for everything- i don’t know why but this felt like she was saying goodbye. I kissed her goodbye and then drove off.
The following day she didn’t text me, this concerned me because ever since we started texting we didn’t go a single day without saying good morning or goodnight.
I, still feeling really bad about the marks, decided to leave her alone for a bit but the entire day i couldn’t stop thinking about how bad i fucked up. I was ranting to my best friend about it and she told me to not worry and maybe Addie didn’t text me because she was busy catching up on sleep or spending time with her family. (we didn’t get home until like 3 am that night)
A few hours later i saw that Addie had posted a story on instagram, i liked it and decided it was time to text her. I texted her and said “Hey is everything going okay” and then followed it up with “i feel really bad about yesterday”
Few hours passed and i heard nothing, she never even read the message.
I was still putting this off as she’s busy but deep down i felt like i knew. After work i ended up falling asleep and woke up back around 10 pm. Where i checked my phone to see if she responded, she hadn’t. But this time, i logged onto my instagram and saw that i was now blocked.
As im sure you could tell, im really upset over this. Ghosting fucking sucks and it’s eating me alive. I keep replaying our day in my head thinking of all the possibilities on why i’m being ghosted and i want advice and opinions on how i can get over this and prevent it from happening.
I guess this is a first time for me since i’ve never been ghosted before and it feels extremely bad. It’s reminding me why I don’t participate in hookup culture. But i still want to try i guess i just need advice on how to navigate hookup culture and protect myself from being hurt when something like this happens. I’m 22 and i want to start getting out there but i really don’t want to continue if im gonna continue to feel this way.
So what do we think reddit? was i ghosted because of the hickeys?
was it because she just wanted to hook up and leave it at that?
did she think i was catching feelings and realized she had to end it immediately?
did she just actually not even like me?
could she possibly be in a relationship and once she got what she wanted she blocked me for safety?
Let me know what you guys think and thanks in advance.
Also i want to add that i’ll need advice in the chance of me accidentally running into her, because my town is so small, there’s very few restaurants and 1 grocery store so the chance of me running into her is very high. not to mention her dads house that she’s staying at is right down the street for me and she can’t go anywhere without passing by my house.
[link] [comments]
from Dating Advice https://ift.tt/V2y6vIq
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment