Instead of needing an outcome (a good interaction, a kiss, sex, a relationship) from an interaction with someone, try being free from outcome. Go over and offer value, in the form of talking, joking, teasing, flirting, having fun… so feel the fun before hand the interaction and then just simply share it with people around you. It works so much better. It’s especially effective if you’re at a bar/club and you talk to people around you, share the fun, free of outcome, small bursts of conversation and then bounce to the next person. Keep doing this over and over and when you eventually talk to people you’ve already opened to (talked to) you will see them wanting your attention and wanting you to stay around (if you’ve done it right). There’s lots of tips, tricks and subtle things that go along with this but overall this concept is something that changed my dating life years ago.
So rather than taking from people, your giving. And paradoxically you end up getting what you want.
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