Here's a little backstory:
I assisted her at my workplace back in December and her situation required us to exchange phone numbers where we briefly texted about her order and how soon I could prepare it for her, nothing more. We finally get her sorted in January and the night of what normally would've been our last time interacting, she texts me saying she'd like to return the favor sometime. Caught me off guard but I agreed and met that weekend at a restaurant she'd told me about. All went well, we talked a LOT and seemed to really connect on a pretty basic level. She even paid for it all, despite me offering to pay for at least half. I texted her once I returned home that night telling her I really enjoyed our time out and was looking forward to doing it again sometime. But here's where things get a little weird, to me anyway...
I noticed early on that she's not a big texter because we only texted once or twice between the time of her asking me out and date #1. Wasn't a huge deal despite my preference of having broken SOME ice before a date. But I chalked it up to her preferring to do all that during the date. I ended up texting her after the date.
Anyway, after my post-date text, she responds the following morning, about 12 hours later, expressing mutual feelings and wants to set up another date. I respond immediately but don't hear back from her until the next day. At this point, her response time becoming more noticeable for me and I have to genuinely wonder if she's just trying to let me down easy, which is okay but I don't want a slow burn. My only reassurance against this is that, when she finally responds, it's not exactly dry. Like she sends photos of her cat pretty often, sends photos of scenery, cracks jokes, responds directly to what I've sent, isn't closed-ended, etc. If it weren't for this, I would have stopped communicating by now. So we set up date# 2 the following week at a spot I found in her neighborhood. All was well again, we spent about 6 hours together. We never seem to have dull moments during conversation, and even went to another spot afterwards that she suggested for drinks. Afterwards, she ends up texting me about my ride home and we actually exchanged texts the following day several time, we're even sending each other our Wordle scores, I'm feeling much more secure about things, cool. We don't meet the next 3 weeks because I was out of the country for my bday, she had a friend over the next weekend, and I was busy the next week. During all that time, we texted an average of 1-2 times every 1-2 day, still a little slow for my pace but it's something. We finally managed to work out a date #3 and that was last week...
I think it went better than the first 2 date in terms of communication, I once again paid for the food and she got a us a couple drinks at bar afterwards. We're clearly getting more comfortable with each other but it still feels like we're breaking ice that should've been well demolished by now. Like, it kind of feels like I'm still just hanging out with a friend without any real assurance of where we're going. This, and the fact that we barely text (calling still feels like a no-go at this point), just contributes to these insecurities.
I'm willing to concede, and probably just need to be assured, that I'm expecting too much of her too soon but I can't deny that I'm used to a person showing much more interests during this stage. She told me on date #1 and reassured me on date #3 that she's a very straightforward person and I've affirmed that I appreciate that and would love for her to be a direct as possible but now we've hit a stage where she will respond MAYBE within the day and has, at times, taken 2 days to respond to what I think are pretty simple text. I get that we're both busy but I also know people will often make time for what they want and I don't want to keep feeling like an afterthought. It's to the point that even I've begun taking my time responding to her because I don't expect a response until at least the following day. I usually always respond to texts within the day if not immediately but have taken a day to respond to her once or twice because what's the point in trying to build momentum? I have noticed that on both occasions where I've done that, she will send another text the following day which feels kind of like a nudge. I can respond almost immediately and won't hear back hours later or the next day.
I like her a lot, she's so cool in person. I'd love for this to work out, but her method of communication is becoming a bigger and bigger turn-off for me. I'm reluctantly agreeing to date #4 but even that's a conversation that's taking multiple days to finalize because I'm waiting on a response to something I sent 22 hours ago. I'm not requiring anyone to text me back asap, or even within the hour, but within the day would be nice. SO here's where I'm at, my top choices are expressing to her how I feel about this and asking her what her intentions are before date #4 OR simply cut off communication and move on. Maybe I'm missing something, maybe there's better options, maybe I'm being selfish, maybe she's just letting me down easy? I honestly don't know but I have half a mind to put a halt on date plans, ask her what she wants, and proceed according. I'm just not feeling entirely secure about setting up a 4th date at the moment. What do you all think?
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