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Wednesday, June 19, 2024

I don't Wanted to but there was no option

M29 India

I met a girl online who was significantly younger than me, about six or seven years. She was going through a tough time after a breakup and reached out to me through a relationship advice page where I was an admin. I started helping her, offering guidance and support. Initially, she messaged me constantly seeking help and motivation. Eventually, she wanted to move our conversations to WhatsApp. I was hesitant at first but eventually agreed.

I found myself becoming fond of her. I listened to her, comforted her, and encouraged her studies. I even advised her to stay away from other boys, and she followed my advice faithfully. Over time, though, she began dropping hints of affection, like randomly texting "I love you." I ignored it because of our age difference and didn't want things to go in that direction.

As time passed, our bond grew deeper. She opened up more to me, discussing personal topics and even sending me photos, which was a big change for her because she was usually very reserved on social media. She started expressing her feelings more openly, sending kisses and professing her love whenever she was emotional or happy. She told me I was the only man she trusted and couldn't imagine her life without me. Gradually, I found myself developing feelings for her too, but in a positive way—I just wanted her to be happy, and I went out of my way to fulfill her wishes, buying her gifts and treating her to meals. She always appreciated my efforts and made me feel like the luckiest guy.

But then things started to change. Her expectations from me increased. She began demanding gifts more frequently, and our late-night conversations became less frequent and shorter. Whenever we did talk, she would subtly hint about things she wanted me to buy for her. After I fulfilled her requests, she would often become busy or abruptly end the conversation.

I started to realize that she seemed more interested in what I could give her rather than a genuine emotional connection. Despite my feelings for her, I decided to take a big step and planned a visit to see her, even though we lived 1000 kilometers apart. We had planned a week-long trip together, but on the day I arrived, she told me about family issues that prevented our plans from materializing. She suggested meeting briefly instead, with her friend in tow. I was uncomfortable with this, but I agreed to meet them at a restaurant to save face for her.

During the lunch, it became clear that she had invited her friend to avoid being alone with me. They chatted and laughed together, trying to include me in their conversation, but it felt forced and awkward. I had hoped for some private time with her, but it didn't happen.

As I drove back home, I felt a mix of disappointment and realization sinking in. Despite everything I had done for her over the years—supporting her, caring for her without any ulterior motives—I was beginning to feel used and unappreciated. I couldn't shake off the feeling that she valued material things more than she valued me.

Eventually, I made a difficult decision. I texted her that it was nice meeting her but that I needed to step back from our relationship. She made excuses, but this time, I stood firm. I deleted her number and removed her from my social media. It's been a month since we last spoke. I still miss her and love her, but I can't let myself be treated that way. I have to prioritize my self-respect over my feelings.

Looking back, I wonder if I did the right thing. Did I overreact? Should I have given her another chance? It's a tough pill to swallow, but I know I made the decision that was best for me at that moment—to walk away from a relationship that was no longer fulfilling and where I felt taken for granted.

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