I (29F) broke up with my boyfriend (29M) about 6 months ago. Relationship was ~2 years. He was a good person and I did love him, but the issues kept piling up. He didn't know how to communicate with me well, he was insecure and it often got projected at me, and at the end of the day I just didn't really feel that he made a decent effort in our relationship. I felt like I was constantly having to "manage" him because he never really took the lead on anything, and I realized I didn't want someone to manage. I wanted a teammate and equal partner to contribute and do life with me. That being said, when times were good, they were really good. My family and friends loved him, he would've made a great dad, and overall he really had the best intentions and loved me a lot. It was one of those things where we loved each other, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd be unhappy 5-10 years down the road, especially if we entered kids into the mix. I just felt like I was settling (not necessarily settling for him because he was great, but settling for a relationship filled with miscommunication and an overall lack of ease/chemistry).
Fast forward 6 months and I'm trying to date again. It's not that I'm finding bad guys, but I'm struggling with building a brand new connection. My ex and I were strangers when we started dating, sure, but I grew to really care about him. I still really care about him and wish I could just call him to catch up and talk. Of course that likely wouldn't go well because he's still angry with me, but I'd love to know how he's doing. I don't miss the arguments or feeling like I'm missing out on a true partnership, but I just miss having someone who knows me so well and who I know so well. The idea of getting to this point with someone else still seems overwhelming even 6 months later, and it doesn't seem possible. Do I really miss my ex, or is the dating scene just so overwhelming that my brain is clinging to the familiar?
TLDR: boyfriend of 2 years and I broke up 6 months ago due to a host of issues in the relationship that would've led to resentment, but we still loved each other a lot and I care about him deeply as a person. Now that I'm dating again, I'm starting to think it's not possible to build that kind of connection again with someone new. Do I really miss my ex or am I just scared to try again? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Any experiences you all can share would be immensely helpful!
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