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Thursday, November 19, 2020

Dating after abusive relationship?

Hi! So I’m a junior girl in high school. My ex and I dated for 3 years and I thought we were going to get married and live happily ever after... but instead he was extremely emotionally, psychologically, and almost physically abusive. We never got to do any of the cliche high school things- like go on cute dates, school dances, BUILD GINGERBREAD HOUSES!!!!!!! And I’d love to experience that.

I’m not looking for my next husband in high school, but I would really like to have the authentic high school experience. I’ve gotten over my ex, and am still in therapy working to get over the trauma he caused. But, he made me block/unadd/remove almost all my friends and acquaintances. I’ve since made a couple new (female) friends but other than that I only talk to two guys. One is my best friend freshman year and there to listen when I would cry over my bf at the time (my ex) and then my (female) best friend’s boyfriend— who I’d NEVER go for.

I’m also in virtual this semester, but going back next semester... so at least right now it’s hard to even meet new guys. I barely know how to flirt anymore. A lot of guys just want sex, which makes me uncomfortable as I was raped before.

My guy best friend had a crush on me for around a year, and I rejected him as I was with my ex. But then I started liking him around March— and admitted my feelings to him in July and he reciprocated... but then ended up ghosting. We’re friends again now, and he’s apologized for ghosting me. We flirt, and he’s honestly the only guy I feel comfortable flirting with and even being sexual with... but I’m 80% sure he just wants a friends with benefits arrangement.

SO BASICALLY, how can I find a boyfriend in high school who I can have the cliche high school experience with after an abusive relationship that left me traumatized??

submitted by /u/whatsausername1000
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