For context: last year I was deep in love with a girl. It sadly didn't work out because we were both in a bad place, she used me for comfort and I had put her on a pedestal. I've learned since then and have vowed to myself never to do that again. Between then and now, I've focused heavily on myself and my career, and have mostly evolved into a stronger, happier being. I just find it extremely difficult to socialise with people at the moment, and can't bring myself to talk to people as confidently as I used to, so I've alternated to burying myself in work & projects to distract myself.
Fast forward to now, and holy moly. This new woman I've met, we've only spoken for two days lmao, but good grief - I honestly have not gotten along with someone so well in such a long time. She tells me I'm knowledgeable, sweet, genuine, and her enthusiasm when she speaks to me is so endearing. She also told me that feels like she can learn loads from me, and thinks I'll be mega successful one day. She's so interested in learning about me and the things I do. I can't explain how euphoric she is, and after being shut off from nearly everyone and buried deep in my own creative projects, I find myself so elevated. I feel so much more hope, so much more thoughtful. I really want this girl. But I also fear that I am skyrocketing myself so far forward in my head that I am absolutely petrified of being overwhelming, too fast moving and losing her in the process.
The worst part was that when we spoke on the phone, she picked up on it and teased me. "Oooooh am I making you nervous?", and I jokingly went along with it so she can enjoy her little power trip. But I am really fucking nervous. So far, this woman seems incredible, and after a painful, lonely, isolated year - I have never wanted someone's company so badly before in my life. I don't want to bury myself in projects. I want to live.
Is what I'm feeling normal? Am I sounding crazy? I feel like a madman but I genuinely just want to finally feel happy and secure, and so far I really think she can do this. I'm just so nervous that all of this will get my hopes up for nothing, and I'm just so done with feeling lonely and in pain now.
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