Told her my (24/M) feelings, says she's (24/F) not looking for anything, 3 months later she now is. Realized her feelings or am I just a fallback? - ATX News Paper

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Sunday, November 1, 2020

Told her my (24/M) feelings, says she's (24/F) not looking for anything, 3 months later she now is. Realized her feelings or am I just a fallback?

When we first developed our friendship, I had no other interest than being friends. Over time as we spent more time together I started to develop feelings and us being as close as we are, brought it up with her. She told me that she also had feelings but was not in place for a relationship right now due to things going on in her life. She has not been in a relationship for 6 years, and has only had casual flings since then, none lasting too long.

This happened 3 months ago. In this time we continued to be friends, with me slowly working on getting over these feelings. I feel okay being friends and have mostly gotten over the romantic feelings, although I still do wonder what things could have been like sometimes. Today when we hung out, she causally brought up that she had been thinking about what I had told her and thinks we should give it a shot. I asked her what made her change my mind and she just said she'd just been thinking and that's her decision now. I told her I didn't want to give her a split second answer without thinking about things, and that's where we're at right now.

Here is where my issue is; I'm not sure how I feel about her taking 3 months to think about how she feels about me and coming to a decision. I understand people having things going in their lives and respect her not jumping into something if she truly wasn't ready. But I also can't shake the feeling that maybe I'm her back up choice and now that she has no options she's coming back to me. She's usually always texting someone, but I don't ask who because it's not really any of my business.

I feel like if you really want to be with someone you just know, you make things work and there's no question. I'm really unsure how to approach this situation or what to even ask/ tell her. Looking for advice from anyone who may have been in the same situation.

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