My entire life boys and men have never liked me. No one ever asked me to be their girlfriend all throughout k-12th grades. My female friends and family all tell me I'm really pretty and kind and funny but the truth is I've always been overweight. Even when I was a kid I wasn't fat but I was always taller and built bigger than my petite friends. I never could share clothes with anyone. But by highschool I was a size 16 and I'm the 90s I might as well have been 600lbs. No one wanted to date the fattest girl in highschool! Or in college. At parties I managed to find men that were drunk enough to have one night stands with me but still no boyfriends. I met my husband when some friends pushed us to be together. He was 23 and had never had a girlfriend. He wasn't attractive but he was funny and he really really liked me. So for the first time ever someone was interested so I rode that train all the way to my forties. But he was also abusive so I had to leave. Now my friend keep telling me how wonderful and beautiful I am but it's been two years and no one wants to date me again. I'm getting mad at my friends because I know they are lying to me to hype me up but it's causing a cognitive dissonance that's making me want to hurt myself. I have terrible depression again after trying to date. No one wants me but my friends won't listen and it's hurting my relationships. How do I get them to stop?
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