I know for a fact that's probably holding me back in the dating scene. I failed to get my license twice and I've managed to have two cars but eventually they either got wrecked by my mom or got tooken away.
From 18 all the way up until my mental breakdown at 21 I felt good enough even though I wasn't really making the progress I thought I needed but, now at 23 I realize I've done all there.
No degree even though I work so hard for it
Dropping out of school only to find myself living back with my grandparents with no license or degree kind of dropped my confidence instantly because I put into work but I did not get the result I wanted.
I've had so many different jobs thinking it was going to help me but I always find myself just being a slave to my job and it not actually helping me.
It will take me approximately 3 years before I can actually get to a passable State and Life to actually start dating and even then I'll be around 27 and I don't think I'll even want to date at that point
And the thing is I personally feel like I am a catch as I do have a nice personality but that means nothing if you don't have everything else with it
Currently I make $9 an hour as a retail manager and I do my art on the side but it's not enough.
I've been trying to save $20 here and there every time I get a check but it always ends up getting spent
I've been thinking about studying for a week to try to get my license again but just because you study for a week and then take it is not a guarantee you will pass and then you'll have to wait even longer to try again which is basically been my situation.
I remember one year I work two jobs for the summer to save up some money to fix a car and I was so proud of myself, but it ended up not starting and all I did was waste 3 months of time and hope and money on something that was supposed to help my life and my dating prospects
My drinking is a little bit better under control but I can't stop smoking weed because that's really the only thing that's at least given me some type of positivity
Girl say all the time that is not the things that they are attracted to but the Dr in the passion but my personal experience has told me that is not true. I have always had tons of driving passion especially when it came to my heart and I was 18 and black in the hood with a mother on drugs and I still found myself being able to graduate school and put myself into two different schools and go out of the country for a bit.
I worked on my social skills and I had tons of fun and I made a bunch of friends but even within all of that I still found really no difference between how girls looked at me.
Everyone in their mom keeps saying self improve and get X Y and Z and I do get that but given my past experience there's no guarantee that it will come and even if you do hit the arbitrary point where you think you are datable there is still no guarantee
Like at this moment judging by a lot of Reddit advice I should be not having as much trouble as I am with dating but I am. I have nothing but years of stories and tales about overcoming stuff and working hard as I had no choice oh, but I think it is a disservice to say that just working hard and having goals is attractive because 90% of men have those
I don't know what to do and it's eating me alive
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