What can I (21M) do to present myself as a romantic option? Am I just not attractive or am I doing something wrong? I have many female friends and they adore me, but only platonically. - ATX News Paper

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Thursday, November 19, 2020

What can I (21M) do to present myself as a romantic option? Am I just not attractive or am I doing something wrong? I have many female friends and they adore me, but only platonically.

I genuinely enjoy having friends, male or female. I have more male friends than female, but I have plenty of female friends as well. There’s no humble way to say this, but my friends of both genders love being around me. There’s this group of 6 girls that sorted of recently merged into my main friend group and we all started hanging out. Every single one of them was weirdly into me (in a platonic way). They’ll take pictures with me and post it on their stories. When we do take pictures, they’re particularly grabby with me. Always be really excited to see me. Once we were packed in a car and on the way back and the way there, two of the girls volunteered to sit on my lap. Obviously that’s not a big deal to most people, but it was weird how they didn’t pick to chose one of the other two guys. Like I’m almost a gay best friend way essentially. Like they know they can do whatever around me and I won’t be weird or sexual, which is true. I also don’t really act that feminine (although I do think I’m more comfortable expressing that side than my male friends) nor do I come off as gay. I used to think two or three of them were into me, but then I realized that can’t be the case. Like they’d probably be a lot more territorial of me if they were. Tbf, there’s other great guys in the friend group too, so maybe it’s one of those situations where it’s like no big deal if one of them gets me, but that’s just me thinking wishfully I’m sure.

And honestly I’m glad they can be comfortable around me. I don’t care for hooking up, I never did. I used to do it in the past when I was younger, but now I’ve realized all I’ve ever cared about as far as sexual relationships goes are committed long term relationships. But to do that, I still need at least one girl to like me that way lol. Tbf, I know I don’t really express myself sexually to people I’m not very comfortable around. I don’t touch people unless they initiated. I don’t make sexual comments. I don’t flirt. It just seems so weird to me to do those things idk. Like what lol? When I did hook up with girls, they would legitimately initiate and pursue most of the “chase.” Or I was just really hammered and inhibitions went away. I know that it’s not weird to flirt or express interest in a non creepy way, but I just feel so creepy doing it, at least sober. Like I can talk to women. Just not in a way that excites them sexually. I can make them laugh and I can keep them interested though. But I just can’t flirt without feeling weird. What are some things I can do to fix my situation here?

TLDR: feel like I give off major friend vibes

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