Mostly a venting post so that people can pitch in with whatever they've got.
I'm a male in my late thirties and have been slowly working my way back into the dating pool after ending a long marriage. I have dated many people throughout my life but coming back into a world where dating apps are norm is still rough territory for me. I generally meet people through friends, but this has become very rare in modern times.
Around 40 days ago I matched an amazing woman, also in her thirties, on okc. She has a PhD and is astonishingly attractive. From the very start, there was a very strong intellectual connection. We actually matched because I wrote an intro and she replied. She then immediately proceeded to add me on all major social networks. We texted every single day, from day one. I confess that my disbelief in the possibility of having a connection with such an amazing person was there from the start. But I decided to dive in. We met two weeks later and made out in the perfect setting, at my favorite bar, where we stayed for around 5 hours. To me, this was a clear indicator that the interest was there and it was mutual. The week after we met, I started making it very clear that I liked her and wanted to see her again. At this point she mentioned that she was uncertain about what she wanted but would like to maintain the talking. I would constantly test our connection by not initiating the conversation every day. She would infalibly initiate, every single day. Lots of very long audios were exchanged, an average of 20 minutes worth of audio per day and 4 hours of text, about random subjects and feelings. Conversation was mostly initiated by her and she would send the longest audios as well. I completely lost interest in other people that approached me. Around a month in, she invited me to the movies and to me this was a signal that she had finally made up her mind. Again we talked for about 5 hours. I made no move for intimacy. A couple days later, she invited me out again, this time to hang out with her friends and I made a move. I gently tried to hold her hand and she backed away. Again I asked her out and a couple days later we met, again, with her friends. This time I established a boundary and said I needed contact if we were to remain in such an intense exchange over text/audio. She said contact wouldn't work for her. I went home and wrote a long text saying that I would give her the time she needed but that I would prefer to back off from the texting/audio until then. She then blocked me on all social media without saying a word.
A few possibilities have been roaming my mind. Maybe I put too much effort into making it work. Maybe the physical attraction wasn't there on her part. Maybe she was just testing my patience before diving in. Maybe I was breadcrumbed. It's all very confusing. What do you all think?
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