I’ve (23F) been on about 4 dates with this guy (27M) over the span of the last month. Mirroring his investment (texts, dates, depth of our conversations etc) has allowed me to just enjoy getting to know him and taking things as they come, not emotionally investing too seriously. I feel like because I don’t know him well enough, and because of his level of investment in me thus far, I don’t if I want to hop into a relationship with him yet.
He’s always kind of given off mixed signals: texts me with enthusiasm, long paragraphs and has multiple conversations on different platforms (ie responds to my stories and has full conversations on IG) but also takes hours, sometimes the full day to respond; has cancelled multiple dates last minute, but reschedules them and has initiated/asked me out on every date thus far; all four dates have been dates at a bar by his place but he acknowledges it, and chalks it up to COVID restrictions and promises we’ll go on a “real date” soon; compliments me sexually but also says he admires my drive and ambition; only takes me out on weekday dates never weekends but always gives me his full attention on them (phone is never out) and always pays for my drinks.
Yesterday, he may have made his intentions more clear? He blatantly and honestly told me he was drunk, he wanted me, and he was texting me for a booty call (his exact words)... but is this just him being drunk and still interested in a relationship? Or is this him telling me he’s not looking for anything serious?
We slept together on the last date. He had a great time, but the sex for me although not bad, was just ok (giving it the benefit of doubt of being the first time with someone new). So if he’s looking for just a hookup buddy, and the sex isn’t great for me the next time around, I obviously won’t continue to see him.
So question is- while I’m figuring out what I want, how do I ensure that me going along with his FWB intentions, doesn’t set a precedent of just hooking up if I want something more later on down the road? Haven’t responded to his booty call text from last night yet, so should I flirtatiously tell him he needs to take me out on a real date first?
TLDR; Guy (27M) I’m (23F) seeing seems to just want to hookup. Im having fun while getting to know him but don’t know what I want yet. So do I go in with the intent of wanting a relationship? Or something more casual and see if it develops into something more?
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