this guy [23m] and i [21f] study together and we started talking about half a year ago. in october-november he started showing his feelings for me in a physical manner - he started to sit/stand closer to me, touch my arms and shoulders, eventually tried to lean in for a kiss multiple times.
i suggested discussing our relationship and told him that i'm really not sure about dating - i'm a bit avoidant and i also feel like i need more time because several months of talking seems veeery little to me, although i myself have no dating experience, i have a group of best friends whom ive known since tge 1st school year. we have just a perfect dynamic, there are a lot of things that unite us. because of so much time we've spent together, we got reeeeealllyyy close so there's usually no need to voice our feelings, explain reactions, let know about many things explicitly.
as for the guy, he's kinda awkward as there's adhd and he really lacks communication skills, so he usually doesn't feel the social situation a t a l l. he's hyperactive, loves attracting attention in ways that seem childish to me as jumping and playing around, laughing or talking very loudly. he often can't handle conversations well as it's usually just a monologue of him speaking on a topic in a way which is difficult to understand and sometimes even boring for others 'cause he's quite educated and well-read person.
he says he really wants to be in a relationship with me, he loves showing affection in a physical and verbal way but those are the exact aspects of a romantic relationahip i personally consider less important. i want action, want a person who's socially skilled, loved spending his time going in cafes, museums, and engaging in other mostly cApITalIstIc stuff which, in my opinion, he doesn't to approve of, and in which certainly he doesn't engage normally.
i know there's a saying that we get annoyed by smth that is actually about us. understand that in a way, but i can't help but deeling this way when i see him awkwardly interacting with others. it bugs me how he produly calls me his gf though still he hasn't even invited me over to his place (i dont mean sex here, just quality alone time), to public places (because he just never goes out???). i cringe sm meeting mostly in college only or sometimes in the streets, its like a middle school level of a relationship idk 😭 as i've mentioned i've never really dated a guy before, but i feel like those things are intuitevely understood to be an essential part of a relationship? i want to be treated in such a way, but i find it even kinda gross to voice all of those thinga because they seem so obvious to me. whereas he's hoping for the relationship and saying that he just doesn't feel such type of stuff dur to lack of experience and would still like to learn all of that anf to understand me, but it seems to me that we just have diffetent ways of living simply. i'd like someone more active, social, initiative and experienced - i dont feel comfortavle being the experienced one and sharing every little thing i want from a relationship. do i hold such a radicate point of view due to a lack of experience or do my thoughts seems reasonable?
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