Okay, so, first thing's first: my main uncertainty is whether it would be wise to start dating while I'm not financially stable yet. I have a good job, I'm saving money, however I still live with my parents. I'm saving in order to be on my own. For the past year I've suffered from depression, alcoholism, and agoraphobia, but I'm making steps to turn my life around. I no longer drink and I've become a Christian and regularly attend church.
I realize this isn't a graceful story, but it's the only one I've got. I'm working on my mental health, but it's difficult to do with 0 friends and 0 exes. There's only so much progress you can make in a bubble. There is no one in my life that I regularly communicate with outside of work and all of my co-workers are on vastly different life paths than I am. I'm looking to date because 1. I am lonely; 2. I feel like the prime of my life is passing me by. People are not meant to be alone. Solitude is good, but I've had my fill of it.
So, I'm wondering if I should start dating while not independent or wait until I'm out on my own before I start dating. My family are Christian fundamentalist (I am not), and all of my comings and goings are observed. I would not feel comfortable bringing someone back to my living space, and, conversely, I wouldn't be able to spend lots of time with someone without it going noticed. If I do something they don't like, I run the risk of being ostracized or kicked out. I also would feel guilty subjecting another person to that level of scrutiny if they did come back to my house.
Undoubtedly, my situation would be a headache for the majority of people. I realize this. Despite how much of a headache it is, I'm still a person and would like to live at least a half-way normal life. I have a long road ahead before I am financially independent, but once I get there, I'm not even sure what to do. I've never dated anyone or even been in the talking stages with anyone. I'm no 10, but I'm not ugly, either. Deep terror of others has been instilled in me for the majority of my life and its, of course, affected my demeanor and self-confidence in the past and has naturally been a turn-off to others. I'm not blaming anyone for this. I'm a different person now, though. I love others and I want to be a part of the world, but I don't know how.
I feel like an absurd case in the modern day, and I genuinely don't know where to turn to. I don't mean for this to sound like self pity. If this is better suited for somewhere else, then I'll go there.
If anyone has any advice on how to start from ground zero as a 23 year old, then it's much appreciated. To clarify, I'd like to date to build a relationship, not just have sex.
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