My boyfriend and I (21F, 22M) have been dating for 8 months. This past weekend was his mother’s birthday and to celebrate they were throwing her a small party, which he invited me to so I could meet his parents. When we get there he introduces me to his parents and siblings who all seemed very nice.
After presents and cake he goes inside with his brother and dad, while I stay on the patio to talk with his two sisters and mom. His mom and sisters seem like very nice people and we even had a lot in common, but eventually I had to pee so I ask where the bathroom is and his sister gives me the directions. As I’m walking to the bathroom I can hear his dad and brother talking to him in the living room. I hear my BF’s father ask “she’s got red hair is it natural?” And my BF without missing a beat says “oh yes, the carpet matches the drapes. She’s even got freckles on her chest.”
I am very insecure about my freckles and this statement mortifies me. I can not believe he’s discussing my body with his brother and dad. I quickly go pee before I hear anything else as I’m headed back outside I hear him say “yea she is, you should see her working out.” They’re still talking about my body! I try to put on a not concerned or embarrassed face for the rest of the afternoon but find it a challenge since his father came outside and happily said “you doing ok out here with these crazy women, Freckles?”
Once we’re in the car leaving I lay into him and ask why he would ever consider talking about my body to ANYONE? He said “it was just men joking.” I said “I don’t care what you joke about my body isn’t a joke. Especially parts you know I am insecure about. That was very hurtful and embarrassed the crap out of me.” He still didn’t seem like he was taking it seriously so I just clammed up and stopped talking. I’ve slept at my parents for the past week and think I’m done with him. He keeps texting and apologizing but it still doesn’t make it seem right. I’ve never talked about a bfs body with anyone, and never understood why would someone want to tell their friends and family what their partners body looks like? That seems like it would create jealousy or envy. Is there a better way to approach this without breaking up? I don’t feel like I trust him with secret information anymore so not sure if I’d ever be able to. Advice please!
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