I (31M) met Katie (24F) almost a year ago at a bar, and we flirt quite a bit when we see each other. Initially I decided there's too much of an age gap, and I was also getting over a breakup. So- we kept it light and fun whenever we'd see each other.
It's been quite a while now, and we've built up a rapport. We have a lot more in common than I originally thought, and I really like her now. At the beginning of January she heavily hinted to me that I should ask her out, but I had just met someone with a lot of promise, so I held off. That other woman ghosted me shortly thereafter, so I said "fuck it" and asked Katie for her phone number! She said yes and we texted back and forth a little, but she's always VERY slow to reply - like a few days to a week...
Anyways, I finally managed to ask her out via a Valentine's Day card. Note: I did not ask her to go out with me ON V-day. I just got a card and wrote a cute letter in it, and asked if I could buy her dinner at the end. I wanted to do it more in-person, but when we're at the bar I can get pretty overstimulated, which makes me anxious.
Well, she replied (after almost a week) with a very long message: she apologized for the slow responses, she loves the letter and is going to keep it, and she thinks I'm wonderful, but she is in a "situationship/relationship" now and needs to "see it through". She went on to say that she hopes I'm not upset with her, and that she'd like to come for a hike (one of the things we talk about a lot) with me sometime soon.
I replied shortly after saying "no worries" and reassuring her that I will happily go for a hike sometime with her.
I've been where she seems to be now, and am wondering... do y'all think this is her saying "I'm interested but I'm also the loyal type and stick to one relationship at a time, even if it's a situationship." OR is she just trying to gently let me down and "just be friends"? Nowhere in her messages has she ever called me just a friend, or said she isn't interested in a date, so I believe it's the former.
How can I proceed and make sure she knows she still has my interest, without stepping into "homewrecker" sort of territory, if she is still seeing the other guy? My instinct says to totally back off except for being friendly/flirty towards her at the bar, and let her let me know if things change.
Thoughts?
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