My question to Redditors is: How do you recognise that your own actions is lovebombing? And you do you counter-balance it?
My background: I had never understood the term lovebombing until quite recently. Basically, a guy I was dating was acting that way, I wasn’t comfortable and ended it without being able to articulate why. Afterwards a friend named it as love-bombing, which when I read into it makes perfect sense for how that guy acted.
Fast Forward a few weeks, I’m beginning to suspect that I might be a prime candidate for doing similar, but not intentionally. There is someone I’ve had a crush on, have lots of common interests and subsequently spend a fair amount of time with. (as an aside, I did say that I’m interested, but we’re going to stay friends) Over the last week, I’ve realised that I’ve been over-eager (in friendly and flirty terms) so I need to reign myself in. Now, being conscious of the love-bomb, I don’t want to cease completely.
When I look over past relationships, I realise that there is a pattern of my unbridled enthusiasm, followed by strict restraint, often in cycles between the two. It’s no wonder that guys cant get a read on me, or what I want.
If there’s a question on why I do it? It’s something I’m working on figuring out. I am generally a friendly and flirty person, who probably gets too enthusiastic. But occasionally my self-doubt and lack of self-confidence means that I revert to panic & protect mode. Its not much of an answer, but self-improvement is a looooong game.
So back to the questions at the top!
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