Okay, I'm going to try and keep this as anonymous as I possibly can (hence the throwaway) but just for context's sake: I'm a nerdy guy in his early/mid 20s who's always been fairly timid and quiet with little to no experience with dating.
So at work, I have a coworker who has sat across from me in a nearby cubicle for the past two months or so I've been working there. We never really spoke a whole lot before because we're both pretty quiet but when we do talk, we could always carry small conversations pretty well. A couple weeks ago, there was a problem with her computer and so she had to move to another desk. She picked one right next to me and because work is always really slow on the weekends, we started talking.
I wasn't actively trying to flirt at all, just making small talk. But as it turns out we have a lot in common and our small talk quickly became more like actual conversation. As it turns out, we have a lot in common and we share a lot of the same interests, movies, videogames, etc. After a couple hours of goofing around, she pulled my notepad over and wrote her number down, without me ever asking for it. She gave it back to me and mentioned if I ever needed anything just to text her. After that, she got up for a break and I started wondering if she had been flirting this whole time or if she was just being friendly.
At this point I start actively trying to flirt a little more, and she never seemed uncomfortable by it or anything. I'm not exactly subtle about that sort of thing so she may have been able to tell that I was flirting. I'm not sure. She had been acting a bit different than usual. She's usually pretty timid but that day, she was acting really talkative and a little nervous. Smiling at me for seemingly no reason and flipping her hair a lot.
We kept on talking and we would get into multiple-hour long conversations about specific videogames or making fun of our jobs or just whatever came to mind. After a little while, she invited me into her discord server where her and other coworkers and her friends hang out, and mentioned that she would teach me how to play her favorite game, which I had never played before.
When lunch rolled around, she invited me to follow her into the lunch room where they have a few tabletop games and we spent our lunch playing games together.
The only other notable thing I can think of is one of our coworkers hurt her feelings and she was very visibly upset over it. She got up and left and I texted her just to cheer her up, and she seemed to open up a little bit, and thanked me for it. Her shift ended a little bit later, and another coworker who overheard some of it came by and mentioned "She's totally into you, dude." I've explained the situation to a few of my friends and they seemed to think so too.
There is one big wrench in this whole thing though. I found out later that she may already have a boyfriend? And on top of that, I know she has mostly guy friends, including one guy at work who's definitely flirting with her all the time: brings her lunch every so often, and they spend most of their breaks together and stuff. From what I can tell, it seems like they would probably be going out if she didn't have a boyfriend. She doesn't seem like a very dramatic person or the type to cheat on someone, and I'm definitely not trying to coax her into cheating or anything. I just genuinely can't tell what's going on here.
Ever since then, we've definitely at least become friends: we'll Skype and talk casually every so often or occasionally, or she'll walk by my desk and make friendly comments like "Hey there, stranger!" or try to walk up behind and scare me or something, but usually we don't have a lot of time to talk. As of right now, we won't be able to hang out at work, at least for a little while due to all of our seating recently changing and our schedules will change pretty soon.
Let me clarify, that I am most definitely not trying to sound like an incel or a nice guy or complain that I'm being "friendzoned" or any stupid shit like that. If I sound like that, please let me know because I detest that sort of thought process and I am okay with just being friends if that's all it is, but I just can't get my mind off this whole relationship thing. It seems like every other day I'll change my mind between whether or not she really likes me or not. I know I'm not very attractive, and I don't have that much going for me, but if there's an opportunity I'm not taking, I want to make sure I'm not just being a dumbass by not reading into it or if I already am being a dumbass for reading into it too much assuming there's something going on that's just plainly not. I really need some advice or second opinions here so just be as honest as you can. Thanks.
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