Firstly this is my first time posting something on a reddit page (celebrates) and I’ve been having a conflict with myself if I should be doing a thing like this. After some scrolling, I can see there’s a trustworthy enough people on here. So I’ll get this started with telling a bit about myself.
I’m a 15 year old girl (I’ll be 16 in the coming months). I’m in high school and I’m fairly active in my school. I take AP and honors classes. I participate in clubs that do community service. And I’m in marching band. I know a good bit of people in my school from all backgrounds and personalities. I’d like to believe I’m a nice person, or so most people tell me. I’m not the skinniest or the biggest. I’m like in the between with cubs in some places. I am light skinned but I’m mixed with curly hair. I got glasses (cause I’m blind lol). And I’m not the tallest (5’4)
I like this senior guy who is 18 (19 in a few months). He’s been in marching band with me and we’ve had band class together. He doesn’t talk much unless it’s with his closest friends and family. He’s a hard worker and a talented musician. I’ve gotten a chance to talk with him a few times, once he gave me a mini lesson on playing a brass instrument (I’m a woodwind). He’s not that tall, just a good few inches taller than me. Like me he’s not the skinniest or the biggest, he’s a nice medium in between.
During the summer of last year I started developing feelings for him. Before then I admired him for his talent and his efforts. Around the end of 2019 I found out that someone in my section liked him as well. She didn’t know that I liked the same person she did until a band competition (like a band battle in a way) when she caught wind of it from someone I told. (Which at the time I was upset with but now I don’t mind). This girl came after me saying things like “I liked him first” or “I’m going to fight you.” She didn’t fight me but she did dm me on insta trying to be a investigator. She said that all 2018 she was trying to get close with the guy by hanging around him and trying to be his friend. Yes those two and their group had a fun time, they never passed that level. No one could blame the guy because said girl is know for spreading rumors, being in peoples business and spreading that, and just not a trust worthy person.
When she dm me she was trying to find out the extent of how things were going between me and the guy. I told her that I really don’t have to tell her anything. Since it wasn’t her business. Her comeback to that was, “please tell me, I’m like really panicking right now. If you don’t tell me I’ll have a panic attack.” I told her about the time he helped me learn a brass instrument. (I probably shouldn’t have told her that but like most have told me, I’m too nice) I told her about how I’m allowed to like whoever I want to, and she couldn’t control my feelings. It wasn’t like those two were dating or anything so I didn’t see the problem of having a feelings. And frankly it’s obvious in a sense that he doesn’t like her. If she’s in a room that he happens to be in, he hurries out of there. She even asked him on a date and he declined. So that’s that.
As time has gone by from that moment, I started do a little thing of leaving him notes where his stuff is in the band room. It will either be cute pick up lines, notes of appreciation, or compliments. I’ve been leaving those when he wasn’t around. I’m not the sneakiest person in the world. And I know atleast one person has seen me leave those notes. Not only do I leave them (without my name) to peak his interest, but I just hope to brighten his day even in the slightest.
I’ve made a few conversations with him, but they were nothing big (just small things about music or something). But when I’m around the guy. I get nervous or squeamish. My heart races and i tend to stare a bit. Though I’m bad about when he comes near me I tend to migrate off into a different direction. (Which I’m working on not doing).
We aren’t the closest, we aren’t really that much as friends either. He doesn’t avoid me like the other girl (that’s good right?). I’m prepared to be rejected. And I’m perfectly fine with it. Either it be he just doesn’t like me that. He doesn’t want anyone at the moment. He likes someone else. He’s going to college soon, and having a gf who’s in high school isn’t ideal. Or I’m not his preference (which means he is missing out). There’s many things that could happen. It’s almost Valentine’s Day and I want to try and come out to him about the notes and my feelings. Would be nice to have a valentine.
I just want to hear opinions of this whole ordeal. Good or bad. I’ll take them. Though no matter what I will come up to him and tell him. Cause I rather be rejected and know he doesn’t like me than never asking and find out down the road that he did.
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