I(F31) have been seeing this guy(M29) for about a month. We've only been on 4 dates but they've been amazing. I haven't felt this strongly about someone in a really long time. Every date we've had just gets better and better, when we are together it's like we blink and 5 hours have gone by. I get the butterflies when he touches me or kisses me or even looks at me.
On our second date he told me about his grandmother who was in the very late stages of Alzheimer's. He said he grieved for her a year ago and felt that she was basically already gone, but it was watching his father and aunt that pained him the most, how hard of a time they were having caring for her.
Last weekend I had my birthday celebration with some of my close girl friends, I heard from him a bit, but less than usual. We usually text a few times throughout the day but over the weekend I just got two messages. I knew he had a big work presentation coming up so I felt like I should just give him space.
The 8th was my actual birthday and I didn't hear from him until later in the night, he said he was sorry for not messaging me but his grandmother took a turn for the worst. I asked him if there was anything I could do to support him, if he needed me to bring him food or if he wanted to go for a walk, etc. I heard from him the next morning that she had passed during the night and he needed to go back home (6 hours train ride). He said he wouldn't be on his phone much and sorry in advance if he didn't respond but he would like to see me this weekend (20th).
I said my condolences to him and his family, told him to reach out if he needed anything, etc and sent him a song that helped me when I was grieving. That was Tuesday and I haven't heard from him. On Saturday I walked past a shop we went to together and took a photo of something we joked about buying him and told him I was thinking of him and his family and hope he and his family are doing the best that they can be.
He hasn't responded or even opened my messages. I want to reach out and ask if he's okay because I am concerned but he did say that he wouldn't be on his phone much. He's watched a few of my stories on instagram and I understand we use our phones as distractions and people have various ways of grieving and he's doing exactly what he said he would do and has been clear with me about being off his phone, but I guess because I care about him it's my desire to just hear that he's okay.
The other pressing issue is that I found out last week I will have to leave the country in a month for 90 days, maybe even more, because of visa issues. Our remaining time together is limited. I want to share this information with him but I also don't want to bother him with another message when he said he'd be off his phone during this grieving process.
I'm not sure what to do here, tell him I have to leave, continue to give him space or let him go?
It breaks my heart to think maybe the timing just isn't right.
TL;DR I have been seeing a guy for a month, his grandmother died and I haven't heard from him in a week, I have to leave the country in a month, do I reach out or leave him be?
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