How much space to give a girl? - ATX News Paper

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Saturday, July 20, 2024

How much space to give a girl?

Warning, long

So I’ve been dating this girl about a month now. She’s always been a bit aloof over the phone. Very bad texter and she’s definitely shy. So not the best at verbalizing her attraction or directly flirting. To be completely honest I thought things were done with her after the third date. However I’ve tried to read more into her actions than words, and figured she might just not be a phone person. She’s responsive when she needs to be but doesn’t like small talk over text.

Out of the blue Thursday morning she texts me asking me to come to a concert with her last night. I knew she was going but figured it would be with one of her friends, not me. The extra ticket she had was pretty expensive, like $135 and I was only a fan of one artist of the four we went to see, but I have been trying to say yes to more things lately so decided to go.

The last set, with about 20 mins left, she leans back into me hard and we start sensually grinding with my arms around her waist. Nothing crazy since the music wasn’t right for that. She initiated this. She also interlaced her fingers with my hand when it was on her waist, which again, she initiated. This showed me there is at least some form of interest there. But man did I get thrown a curveball after.

We parked at different ramps and parted ways on the sidewalk, off to the side. So not really in anyone’s direct line of sight. She comes in and gives me a big hug. But doesn’t turn to kiss me. We had yet to kiss last night despite having make out sessions on the second and third date. She starts to walk away and I lightheartedly go “hey where you going”. She comes back and I start to lean in. She goes “I’m just not feeling it right now”. Obviously my body language was pretty taken aback. But I played it cool verbally and was like “ok that’s fine, take care. Drive safe and let me know when you make it home”.

She then texts me within 5 mins “I’m sorry I’m just in a funk right now”. I replied to her “you don’t need to apologize for communicating how you feel in a moment. I had a fun night. This wasn’t something I’d normally go to but I was pleasantly surprised. Drive safe let me know when you make it home.”

She replied back “Thanks :) I had a fun time too” then “made it back, not sure about your parking garage but it took forever for me to make it out” very clearly trying to engage me in convo. I did not reply to her and don’t plan on replying.

It’s pretty clear to me she’s hung up on her ex. I know for certain they dated for multiple years and broke up in February. She hasn’t overtly said that but there have been signs she is. When we were walking back, I could tell she was processing the concert cuddling that took place, and noticed a slight shift in mood even before the kiss rejection.

I think she likes me, she likes spending time with me, but she also isn’t head over heels. The reality of the situation hit her hard and caused lots of anxiety. She seems scared to grow attached to someone again. She also knows I like her and would continue seeing her. She probably felt like things were moving too fast, and that scared her.

She rejected my kiss because she thought she could get away with it and keep me open as a plan B.

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