I (F26) recently just got broken up with by a guy (M26) that I was dating for only 3+ weeks. We bonded so easily because we both shared the same views on religion and had also ended relationships with people based off of difference of religious views. For me, it was the ending of a relationship with a childhood best friend and for him it was a relationship with his girlfriend of four and a half years with who ended things with in October/November.
Things moved fairly quickly as we had FaceTimed after our first date and had our second date four days after the first since we both were going on vacation for over a week. He was also my first kiss and he was very sweet. I should also mention that he is the longest that I have ever dated someone and the closest I've ever gotten with a man.
We FaceTimed again two days after our first date and got into pretty heavy conversations on where we align such as family, finances, sex, and drugs. He revealed that he in fact does recreational drugs such as LSD, shrooms, and a bit of cocaine which definitely surprised me and I expressed my disapproval.
However, he did say that he does LSD and shrooms way more often than he does cocaine and that he doesn't like cocaine but will probably end up doing it a few more times again in his life. I probably should have ended things here but since I liked him so much and this conversation only happened after one week of dating him I decided to just learn more about the usage of LSD and shrooms and see how he acts on those drugs before deciding whether or not that was a deal breaker for me.
In this FaceTime, he brought up how we should approach meeting my mom since my mother is very religious and we both are atheists. I think this is where I really started to get carried away with him emotionally because I really liked him and I thought he also really liked me too.
But things took an abrupt end after the three week mark where he expressed to me that he needed to a person who was more extraverted than I am. He is an extraverted person and he said that he needs someone more extraverted than he is to pull him out. He said that what worked with him and his exes was that they were more extraverted than he was and he needs something like that.
I was surprised because from my perspective everything was going so well. He even gave me a gift from his vacation on the day he broke up with me like wth 😂. We were talking every day up until then and we had FaceTimed twice the same week he broke up with me five days ago.
We ended up texting again on Tuesday and I asked him at one point did he get these feelings and he said that it was just a "qualitative feeling that arose throughout our interactions" which after our second date was just our three FaceTimes and text messages. I felt hurt that he didn't want to get to know me long enough for me to get even more comfortable with him to show him my full self as I still was a bit shy around him given that it was only our third physical interaction. He also brought up my disproval in his drug use but he said that that was something that he could deal with.
Long story short, I want to know how to better reel in my emotions in dating. I acknowledge that I fell too quickly and I also acknowledge that he played a part in this. How do I do better such that I don't fall head over heals after only a short amount of time and how do I manage expectations better so that I can protect my poor fragile heart? 😞
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