Hi! Im 33F. I have had 6 boyfriends but last time I made someone suffer a lot. Since then theres been 5 years since Ive been single. Ive met guys, guys like me, but nothing happens. Most of these times its me who gets paralized and just cant do a move. For example a guy asks me on a date, and then I just disappear. Or I try to go slow and then other girl comes and bc they guy thinks Im not into him, they leave. Ive had 2 online relationships in which Ive put all my effort but one just broke up and the other one doesnt seem so interested about meeting me the same way I am.
Honestly, Im extremely sad. I feel Im gonna be alone forever. I was with a weekly therapist but she just listened to me and gave me no advice in order to improve my life. I see a doctor monthly (I have horrible anxiety), and he wants me to start dating. The thing is that I dont have many friends ( I lived overseas for a long time, had to come back due to covid and I havent been out bc of the pandemic) and honestly when I go to Tinder guys arent cute/interesting.
People find me cute/nice/funny/smart. But I dont see it. All I see is that Im not employed, Im fat and specially Im old. That crushes me so bad. I feel no one would take me.
In terms of guys, Im not very picky. I am not even crazy about looks. I just want a guy that is smart and funny, that I can talk for hours, but I don’t understand why it has been so difficult.
Has anyone been in the same situation? If I dont know anyone, how can I start looking?
Thanks!
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