Guys in high school/college almost entirely ignored me. Even the average to "unattractive" ones didn't want to befriend me.
I graduated college a virgin. I'm a woman of color. I guess I have to say I'm not fat because I'll probably get someone asking me that. I feel pretty normal/average, but obviously something may be off about me since I've never had a guy pursue me.
I tried pursuing two guys while I was in grad school. One guy shot me down entirely and my friendship with him ended and the other tried to see what he could get out of me sexually. When he realized I was a virgin and wasn't ready to give him a BJ, I was basically useless to him so he cut me off too. It seemed so easy for him. Like I was nothing to him. We were friends before this too.
One year later, both of these guys are in what seem like happy relationships. They just didn't want me. I'm still alone, trying to figure things out.
Honestly, I'm traumatized by these experiences.
I started online dating soon after the second guy rejected me (about a year ago), and was pleasantly surprised that there were many guys who seemed to like me and were trying to pursue relationships with me.
But in the back of my head, I'm thinking ... "they couldn't possibly know me like the guys I knew in real life did. That means that eventually they're going to find out who I am and toss me away too" or "they only want me because the male:female ratio on these apps is so high"
I also sometimes think that maybe these guys just want to use me too and aren't genuine based on my experiences.
Has anyone else experienced this? Are these rational thoughts? If not, how do I get rid of them?
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