Yesterday the guy I’ve been dating came over, tears in his eyes, sat down and told me he slept with someone else. I asked him when and he said last week when he was out of town. Since he’s been back from his trip, he wasn’t acting differently, and I genuinely would have never expected him to say that. I ended up just asking him to leave because I had nothing nice nor productive to say to him at that time. I blocked him on everything after he left and I am just really struggling to understand a “why?”
I know this has everything to do with him and I could’ve done everything right and he still would’ve done it. Except I can’t help but think “what did I do to deserve this?”
I’m not a self-deprecating person and I would say I’m pretty self-aware as well. I’m not blaming myself for his actions but for the first time in my life I’m second guessing myself and trying to find some kind of hint that I missed to make sense of this.
I feel like shit. I have so many questions on the event itself like, “did you know her beforehand?” “Were you sober?” “Was this when you were staying with your best friend?”
I’m really disturbed that he came back and acted like nothing happened. I feel violated knowing that I let him kiss me, touch me, and sleep with me. I want to know what the tipping point was for him that he decided to share that he slept with someone else. Yesterday for the first half of the day he was completely “normal”.
It almost seems like he’s lying to completely honest. He wouldn’t be the type to be like “lol prank!” But he is definitely the type to self-sabotage. I’m sure it did happen but it’s so nonsensical to me.
I know I don’t need to know the details and focus on the betrayal itself but every single question I have is gnawing away at me. I almost wished I interrogated him so he could spell it for me and listen to himself.
Anyways, I feel worse than I ever have in my life. If someone has any good journaling prompts or podcasts to help me out it would be appreciated.
[link] [comments]
from Dating Advice https://ift.tt/ShUTC3r
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment