so this guy and i have been talking on and off for around 2-3 years, and in some time around this i got to know that he had a crush on me before we talked and now had fallen in love with me.
between him and me nothing can happen in the long term because of future goals, family and all its just impossible from my side.
he says he doesnt care abt family and all and has fallen completely in love with me, everything like that.
he says that he is willing to do anything for me (and he will im sure) he’s very dedicated (somewhat obsessive) but his love is also genuine.
i know that he is a really nice guy and anyone will be lucky to have him, he literally is what every girl wants (romantic, caring, already has a list of things he wants to buy for my bday months away) and apart from that also a respectful genuinely good person.
i dont love him like that which ive told him a thousand times. he thinks he can make me fall in love with him if we talked enough but even if it happened that will make matters worse because genuinely from my side there is no future (there is family and religion, my family is very religious and just wont let me marry out of religion, they will straight up stop talking to me - and for no cost i want to hurt my parents)
whenever i have told this to him he is like i will do anything, i will beg in front of ur family, but he doesn’tget its impossible.
now the logical conclusion was for us to stop talking so we did.
during this no talking period our mutual friend would call me sometimes to ask if i have talked to this guy or not bc he’s drunk in his room not letting anyone come no one knows if he’s alive contemplating suicide and all can u reach out to him.
so these incidents happen so basically acc to him his life is complete shit without me and im the sole reason he wants to do anything (says stuff like -“who should i earn money for? i wanted to do for my wife but if youre not there then idk waht for im living anymore” “ i want to die early”) and all.
so the actual thing is very long so in short so things happen he begs literally so much we start talking again and he says things like okay we dont have a future but we have memories ill live w those.
whenever im doing smthg like im genuinely busy and not online (we live in different places) he will go crazy say stuff like where r u who r u talking to i knew u have other guys stuff like that(because i crushed on a few guys before ) and i would genuinely be doing home chores or watching some movie.
then he gets like u cant even spare time for me and lot of discussion gets HEAVILY drunk character bashes me then says a MILLION sorries tells me to block him from everywhere tells me to stay.
at some point i dont even feel to reply i but i always clear that i dont love him.
now i know im the bad person here and ive been called avoidant i know i kbow the better thing is to cut all ties let him heal but the way he talks im sure like he gets very depressed and i cant bear to do that to him again. he’s like i dont know how i survived those times without u i’ll die again if it happens.
and i cant genuinely reply to his everything. sometimes i feel its more like obsession but then he makes me understand that be selflessly loves me, no lust and all. he can live his whole life without even touching me and tbh i do believe him.
so basically this is the story.
he’s anxious im avoidant. hes a really good person who just fell for the wrong girl.
how should i approach him?
(yeah so today again he is drunk calling texting)
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