So there’s this guy I have had an off and on crush on for years . And I’m always confused whether he only sees me as a friend or is genuinely attracted to me and cares for me deeply or romantically. He’s in his 30’s I’m in my 20’s. He lives at home still and hasn’t ever had a girlfriend. He can be rather insensitive to people around him and not in tune with people’s emotions.
Quite the opposite of empathetic. I have a feeling he’s the way he is because he’s inexperienced and awkward
But he’s also old enough to know what’s right and wrong.
Examples of reasons why I think he likes me:
He’s gone to a few events with me willingly /ones he’s invited me to and happy sat next to me and was happy to be in my company.
Asked me out for a treat afterwards
I asked him what he thought flirting was and his answer was exactly what he did all night with me. Trying to make me laugh and just prolonging leaving my side.
Let me put my hand on his lap or put his legs against mine.
Has bought me some expensive useful gifts
Texts me daily and responds back most of the time
I often have intense eye contact with him but he looks away or I do first.
Voices sometimes how he thinks my bf doesn’t treat me right or goes about things wrong
Can be very kind and generous and sometimes goes out of his way to do kind favors for me
Gravitates to me in any room and tries to get me involved
Singles my name out in groups of friends to try to get me to smile or laugh at his jokes
Has asked me to rub his back
Tries hard to make me laugh and good off a lot
Shows off for me /muscles/ sends selfies often
Life updates on himself and what he’s up to
Compliments my outfits and style very rarely -but barley ever compliments people
Let me touch his hair and sometimes goes to gym with me
A little awkward around me when I’m being super nice and forward
Says I know him better than most people because I care about his hobbies and feelings
Made a playlist with my name with over 200 songs and most of them love songs / or songs about tricky relationships
And added more everytime we saw eachother
Why I think he doesn’t or is very confusing and hurtful.
Hardly ever compliments me especially when I nudge obvious opportunities to compliment me
Ignores any selfies I send and doesn’t reply to them
Never reassures me in any feelings I address
Never asks if I’m ok or how I’m feeling
Only ever talks about himself
And if I talk about myself he redirects it to him or how he feels invalidating me
Never asks how I’m doing
Often ignores me messages or leaves me on read even if it’s an easy question
Never asks about my life or what I’m up to
(Only if I ignore him for weeks or barley talk does he seem to be more interested)
Seems very cold and distant especially when I act nicer or more interested and engaged
Even cringes when I show affection to my partner and walks away like it causes him pain
It’s been a mix of on and off for years
He seems to be confused about how he feels but I’m not sure what to think of it. Or if it’s even worth Persuing .
He is a very good friend
But Sometimes I wonder if he’s just a prideful arrogant lonley man wanting a little attention at the expense for my feelings
Or if he genuinely likes me but is hesitant due to me having a bf. Or if he’s just a friend that thinks I’m attractive.
Is this one sided? I want to protect my peace but I don’t want to lose my friend.
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