I (30F) Recently matched with a guy (32M) I've really clicked with. We've met in person once and talk daily. I've stalled meeting up again since Ive been sick. Anyway, I had an inkling that he is fresh to the dating scene so I asked him when he split from his ex. He said 18 months (from 7yrs) but I've seen her in his Xmas pic on socials from last year! So looks like it's only early this year they split. He said they're still friends and that they share custody of the dogs so she will come to see them, take for walks. I told him that this was all a deal breaker for me and cut it off. Also sounds like a pretty fresh split from a long time together, I don't wanna be a rebound! It doesn't sound Completely over.
My last two relationships had the ex-gf (and 1 custody cat) involved and it was pet mama drama, or the gf becoming the sounding board for our relationship, and using the cat as a pawn. I have no reason to not trust this new guy but I just find life easier if there is no ex hanging around or pet custody. Like would this situation continue for 10years until the dog dies? Imagine living together or getting married and still having an ex pop around for the pets. Seems weird.
Am I right in having these boundaries? I know that his situation is perfectly normal, and some people would be totally okay with it, but for me, it's not worth the drama or feeling uncomfortable.
I feel like if you're trying to move forward in life, you do it wholeheartedly. I kinda feel bad because we got a long great but I wouldn't want him to change his life, our boundaries are just not compatible. Dating sucks!
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