My ex bf (25M broke up with me (26F) a month ago... a few days before my 26th birthday. He accused me of being on a dating app, which im not, because his 'friend' (who's name he purposefully hid) saw my photo on a dating app. What really pissed me off was that he didn't have the decency to ask me, he just attacked, accused, and broke up with me. The thing that really made me feel completely put off by him was that he said 'my ex has never put me thru half of what you've put me thru'. Mind you, he said he hasn't communicated with her since February. Honestly i got frustrated because i haven't put him 'THROUGH' anything. Ive never lied, cheated, or even considered anything inappropriate in the year and a half we dated. I responded with 'well, she doesn't want you'... and he said 'she does want me dummy'. This is the second time we've had a big fight (both him accusing me of something disheartening and untrue and both him dumping me). Each time he brings up his ex and weaponizes her to make me feel less than.
Tomorrow he wants to come over to have a conversation for the first time since he dumped me. & i know i want to stand firm on the decision he made for us because he really made me question my sense of reality. But tonight i got to thinking... how could he have known his ex is or isn't into him if they are not communicating? He said once before that she was obsessed with him and even hacked his social media... but somehow i get the feeling that its not true. Also he was really unclear about the timeline as to when they broke up and when we started dating. Was he accusing me of wildly untrue things because of his own feelings of guilt? I don't want to speak to him tomorrow and get serenaded just to have this happen. I feel so stupid because my rational thinking gets away from me when i speak to him, i become like putty in his hands. He's been able to get away with bad behavior for so long with me.
So i did something i thought id never do and i decided to text her, i gave her my number.. she said she'd call. & now im waiting. I just really want to know if something had been going on with them and if he was just projecting his guilt onto me. If she does truly want him and he was looking for a way out of this relationship. I just want to understand. I need to validate my feelings by uncovering the truth so that i dont fall back into his arms tomorrow. Tell me, is this really fucked up?? cause i dont know if i trust my own judgement at this point.
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