Is it ever okay to ask someone why they don’t like you?

I (21F, heterosexual) have been close friends with a guy (23M, heterosexual) for about 2 years now. And yeah, I have some feelings for him. However, he has made it clear that he doesn’t want to be romantically involved with me. 1.5 years ago I explicitly asked him if there’s ever any chance that we’d be in a relationship in the future and he simply said “no.” I didn’t ask for more of an explanation since I figured that would be inappropriate. He hasn’t changed his mind (I know because he has mentioned not liking me in that way since then...even though I didn’t ask).

However, he does seem to really care about me. He often says that he does. He buys me things. He talks to me far more than any of his other friends. He says that he “loves spending time with me.” He’s claimed that he “thinks about me all the time.” He’s referred to me as “pretty” and “very pretty” and suggested that he finds me attractive (which is especially surprising because I’m not that pretty IMO). We spend a lot of time together and go out to eat and such. He’s also made it clear that he wants our close relationship to last a long time. I’d think that having those thoughts/opinions about me would naturally lead to feelings developing, but I guess I’m wrong?

Anyways, I usually feel fine being single, but I have moments in which I want to be with someone. However, I have very little romantic experience and guys don’t seem to like me very much. I’ve expressed interest in three guys thus far in my life, and all three rejected me. I’ve been on approximately once date in my life and it didn’t work out.

I fear there might be some big thing I’m missing that could explain my lack of success. And perhaps my friend knows. Is asking someone why they don’t like you a big no-no? My prediction is that people will say yes, it is indeed a no-no. If so, how do I go about finding out what’s wrong with me? I ask myself why he doesn’t like me ALL the time and it drives me crazy...

Thanks!

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