Hey r/dating_advice,
So I've (M22) been talking to this girl (F23) since the start of November, and we went on a lot of dates and talked almost every day on facetime. Around Thanksgiving though, she went through a lot of crap with one of her friends, and as a result went MIA for around a week. I gave her supportive messages and space and she got back to me around the start of December, telling me what had happened.
We got back to talking fairly consistently but she's still not over what happened (I don't blame her, I'll spare the details but it was really rough stuff and her family, friends, and ex got dragged into it). I can tell it's taken a toll on her, and a few days before Christmas she told me she was busy, so I gave her some space before Christmas. We talked a bit on Christmas Eve and some more on Christmas Day, but I didn't hear from her yesterday. One of the last things she mentioned on Christmas Day when we were texting was that she was probably gonna need some time to get over everything that happened to her since she's still not over it and she's mentally exhausted.
I'm perfectly okay with giving her time to get over things, since when she was MIA I made sure to give her space until she got back to me. An issue that we both know about (I brought it up on our second date) is that I will be leaving to go to Georgia for work in January until May (we're both from New Jersey), something that she was okay with when I brought it up. Originally I thought I would be leaving on the 10th, but I found out recently that I'll be leaving on the 4th. So I told her when I found out, and left her a voicemail and text. When she got back to me she said it's alright, but it's still left open since we haven't really talked about it face to face or over the phone directly.
My question is where do I go from here? I really can see a future with this girl, she's wonderful (something she called me on Christmas too!) and we had such a strong connection when we went out. Even though she's gone through some awful stuff, I want to be there with her when she gets over everything. I still feel like there's something there and that we can make things work.
I'm thinking that since I didn't hear from her yesterday that I'll give her space today and tomorrow before texting her a supportive message on Tuesday and seeing if she wants to talk over the phone. I really want to ask her to be my girlfriend before I leave (something I would only do in person), and I think I could make things work with her (we talked about her visiting me and how we would stay in touch when I was at her house for our third date).
Thanks for any advice you can give!
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