I'd like to start off by saying I've lurked on reddit for quite some time but this is my first account and post.
So well, here's my story, I'm 24, a virgin and I feel that at this point there is really just no turning back and having a normal sexlife, it's affecting my confidence every single passing day, I can hide it pretty damn well somedays but other days I just break down and feel like an undesirable, worthless human being - almost bipolar. Now, I'm not here to moan and claim that my life has been unfair, because I'm far from what people would consider a typical virgin, I'm tall, mysterious and handsome so I've been told by both men and women and I've had quite a few chances of losing it but either my luck, confidence or ego got in the way.
Now here's my dilemma, I do not have tough skin (I'm quite sensitive) and I am extremely picky when it comes to women, I seem to have this complex where I see myself as this good-looking, quite intelligent guy and I only deserve the best which hinders me from going after a lot of women who would be interested in me. I also want the first time to be really special and memorable, as a teen, I strictly wanted to lose it with another virgin (that ship has sailed now) as I had my first kiss pretty late too (at 15) and it was meaningless, so much I could not even remember her name. I have only pursued a few women in my life (5 or so), all were very beautiful women, yet with them it just never happened, as I was just too clingy and the attraction fell apart, and spent more time depressed by these instances, this is what I mean by me being a wimp, I simply cannot take rejection, whilst it is something normal that every man goes through.
My last relationship was with a girl who was quite a bit older than myself, she was absolutely beautiful and never had I ever felt such a connection with a woman before, we liked the same music, shared the same humour, had the same outlooks on life, I could've called it love. We never ended up having sex (obviously) as the age gap was too much of an issue for her (she had never dated someone younger) and she also had this impression that I wanted to use her just for sex, I changed her mind about this by being very romantic however the first issue still persisted. I didn't have the balls to tell her I was a virgin, as I felt she would've thought I was a loser. It ended after a night we almost had sex, after some passionate making out at her place, she told me she just wasn't ready, day after, she texted me and said that she is looking for something serious and she knows that a person my age cannot provide that.
My query is this, if I wait will it ever happen for me? It seemed that the last relationship I had was the perfect oppurtunity but it just didn't happen. If I wait for the "perfect moment" if it exists, will I be waiting all my life? Should I just bite the bullet and have a meaningless fling and move on? Any life advice would be appreciated honestly, thank you for reading.
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