It was an on&off relationship for a year and a half.
For the first three months, over the summer, it was great. We argued a bit but that's it. We made it official after those 3 months, but also went back to college 2 hours away. I noticed he stopped trying as much. The compliments stopped coming. I never knew if I was going to see him that upcoming weekend until a day or two before. He didn't communicate well. He never called.
I just liked reassurance and words of affirmation. When I'd tell him this, he'd get all stressed and upset. I just felt like there was a lack of affection.
After breaking up & making up for a year, I realized he has not called me beautiful or pretty in a year. He still never said he loved me. He knew my trust was broken, but did nothing to fix it. He never really called unless I asked. He took me on a nice date when we made up, but stopped again. If we argued he'd stonewall me a bit. We wouldn't see each other for two weeks, and we would not call or facetime.
I just wanted someone to let me know they cared more often. If texting was our main source of communication, I wanted more effort put into it. He said he was going through a lot, but he has been saying that for a year.
I feel guilty, like I was high maintenance, even though I went 50/50 on dates, drove to see him just as much, and really valued just laying in bed and watching moves. Maybe I was annoying and emotional, but idk anymore.
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