...for sex?
I realize this question is highly subjective, i.e. there’s no real “answer” and I’m not looking for one. But I am interested to hear any thoughts on the subject, or any personal rules some of you may try to follow. And while this should be obvious, I ask in the context of sex with someone you’re newly seeing and have developed a non-superficial liking for.
I think good relationships flow naturally, so I’ve never been one to pay attention to any silly dating algorithms tossed around online. I’ve always followed a “you’ll know when its right” sort of mindset. But now that this approach has gotten me into some undesirable outcomes one too many times now, I’ve begun to question how much I should trust my intuition in this area.
My experiences with men and sex is the primary reason why I’ve taken time away from dating apps in the past, and is also why I’ve taken time away from them again now. These experiences generally involved a few weeks of amazing dates and consistent (near daily) messaging filled with substantial conversations that left me feeling quite confident of a a mutual quality of investment. Yet once sex happened with the guy, I was met with a whole other vibe- either total silence or stilted conversations (very unlike those of the past) and no more planned dates. Even those who may not be over thinkers like myself would probably draw similar conclusions.
So is there any way to avoid these situations? Ive begun to feel almost helpless about dating, as I’ve certainly developed a bit of a complex at this point. I don’t want to project any distrust I have from my past experiences, because I know that not everyone is like this. But I’m also terrified now of getting hurt, especially as it’s happened with guys I never would have expected it from.
The only thing I have thought to do differently (based on success stories from other girls i know) is to take a sort of “friends” approach with dating, i.e. focus less on where things are going romantically and really get to know the person first.
Any advice is greatly appreciated :)
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