I have been in conversation with a girl online for a while now, we have really really hit it off. Spoke everyday, an awful lot and have so much in common, even bizarrely niche things. Never before have I thought somebody could be "the one" so much, alongside the common interests she's also incredibly funny, kind and caring and very open. Everything I've been looking for.
We decided to meet and have a date, it went really really well and decided to see each other again. That evening we spoke on the phone and she informed me that I needed to know she had contracted genital herpes from a previous partner, obviously something very hard to discuss and I credit her massively for telling me, that can't be easy or nice. She said she would understand if it was a deal breaker, but I just couldn't do that straight away to somebody so lovely over the phone, I suggested we meet again and I have some time to look into things and think.
I have spent sometime researching the contagion chance given medication, using a condom and not having sex during an outbreak, I'm aware it's a very low percentage chance if all three are adhered to.
However I have anxiety and feel like I would be consistently on edge about it a lot, questioning if I had caught it and potentially not enjoying sex because it's on my mind. Ultimately I feel like I cannot pursue a sexual relationship with this person, which breaks my heart as I really liked her and was looking into options to make it work, but the reality is even if I never caught it I feel like I would potentially make my own mental health a lot worse.
I have also faced this situation previously when I was 16, I'm now nearly 30 and expect this to become a more common theme as the older people get, the more sexual partners, the higher chance of running into it. I could meet somebody else, they have it, not tell me and then catch it that way all whilst throwing away somebody I really liked.
I feel awful about having to reject her over this, these people deserve love as much as anybody but I just can't offer it without risking my health or sanity. I would like to find a way to remain friends but don't know how to approach the conversation.
If anybody has any advice or experience with this kind of thing any help is appreciated as I am seeing her tomorrow.
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