I was recently seeing a guy for two months. The dynamic was high-voltage and great when we were together—high intimacy, warm energy, and no drama on my end. However, looking back, the effort was entirely lopsided:
He would happily come over to my place for intimacy, but consistently avoided/refused hosting me at his home.
There was a lack of consistent communication or planning. Agreed to have me take him out for his bday last month and never followed through in setting a date/time.
After a great night together a few weeks ago, he suddenly went silent for a full week. I should preface this was the 2nd time he’s done this to me. I’ve been watching his behavior very closely and observing the trends and also going with the flow because I too am busy, but I could feel myself starting to get feelings slightly. I’ve never played the card if “ hey can we talk” or “what’s going on”. He is a man and I feel like he’s fully capable of showing up as one.
Instead of chasing him or asking what was wrong, I decided I was done accepting breadcrumbs. I sent a decisive, calm text letting him know this dynamic didn't work for me, wished him well, and immediately removed/blocked him on social media.
His response was hesitant and performative:
Me: Hey, I’ve enjoyed our time together, but I dont think this serves me as our interests dont feel aligned.
Him: Hey…ummm I understand you and I respect that. Sucks cause I’ve enjoyed our time too but no hard feelings I really get what your saying :)
Me: I dont feel like there’s been a genuine interest in getting to know me beyond what we’ve been doing, and that doesnt feel good to me. Wish you the best.
Him: I understand that, and that wasn’t my intentions to make you feel that way, but I understand how some actions and our overall dynamic didn’t feel good, especially with the head space I’m in rn so it makes sense… I wish you the best too!
I left his text on complete read and haven't said a word since.
I’m looking for perspectives on a few things:
Why do men go radio silent for a week after a great encounter, expecting a woman to just wait around? Disclaimer: the first time was at the beginning for two weeks and he blamed it on work and being busy.
Is his hesitant, polite response ("no hard feelings," "headspace," smiley face) a ego-defense to save face?
Did cutting off his access cold-turkey (IG block + total silence) impact him?
I also feel really hurt by this for some reason all of a sudden. Though I pulled the trigger I haven’t really been in this position to just cut someone off.
Curious to hear thoughts from anyone who has navigated or analyzed this kind of low-effort guy behavior or personal feelings like this.
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