This kind of talk borders on tin-foil-hat thinking. Most of the time, people don't even know what confidence is or how it develops. Confidence isn't about closing your eyes, telling yourself that you're confident, and having confidence simply appear.
Confidence, generally speaking, comes from practice, success, and learning. And that doesn't work the same way in dating. Dating doesn't have a learning curve like learning how to swim, learning how to write, or learning another language.
It's not a process that depends entirely on you. You're operating within a very specific social dynamic. You're dependent on factors that go beyond you: ethnicity, neurodivergence, physical appearance, and social class. You're being judged by another individual!
We need to be pragmatic when evaluating our possibilities. The world isn't beautiful. It isn't some Disney movie produced by God. Please, be grounded when dealing with someone who genuinely needs help.
Usually, people who believe in this kind of thing can have one foot in the same territory as people who believe in love spells. Confidence isn't an aura! We're not living in an anime! Grow up! Not everything is a matter of faith!
This is how people end up giving their money to grifters. Just look at people like João de Deus and the countless dating coaches who sell these promises.
There's a saying in my country that sums this up perfectly: “When two people leave home, one is the smart one and the other is the sucker.”
I understand that when you develop this tendency to convince yourself that you're irresistible, you're usually trying to escape negative thoughts. However, negativity exists, and there are more mature ways of dealing with it. It's easier to control your internal narrative than to deal with the external situation.
Keep this in mind: you protect yourself from rejection through this narrative. The dating market is built around this promise. Don't turn a complex situation into a formula. It's easier to control the narrative inside your head than to deal with what is actually happening outside of it.
This way of dealing with the problem is far too fragile. It may not last, or it may turn into arrogance as a way of ignoring the actual problem.
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