In psychology there is a cognitive bias refered to as “confirmation bias”. Confirmation bias can basically be explained as people having the tendency to want to be right about their beliefs and because of this they interpret and selectively remember events in a way that confirms their preconceptions.
For example, you may have developed the belief that you are not good enough to be loved. Subconciously you then put your attention on partners who signal their emotional unavailability. Additionally, even with healthy people, you interpret innocent and/or insignificant actions as them not loving you. By reacting while operating under that assumption, you actually make your belief a reality. The person grows tired of you constantly questioning them and of the arguments that inevitably arise. They then push you away and your brain gets to use this outcome as evidence that it was right in believing that you are unloveable.
This is important to recognize because you are able to change your beliefs to get the outcome you desire. Also, this helps you to identify a potential partner’s beliefs and to determine whether or not they will sabotage the relationship. So, if you come across someone who talks lowly of themself and mentions that they aren’t good enough for you or that they don’t believe they’ll find love, MOVE ON! No matter what you do they will think/act in a way that will prove themselves right 9/10 times. It isn’t your job to fix them or prove them wrong. Work on yourself by recognizing your own faulty thinking and use positive affirmations and therapy to change it.
[link] [comments]
from Dating Advice https://ift.tt/3fXbHnB
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment