Letting go of a relationship with no future - ATX News Paper

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Monday, January 25, 2021

Letting go of a relationship with no future

I (25F) met a guy on hinge (30M) right before the pandemic. It's been about a year of us hanging out - we established we're exclusive but never had the label of bf/gf. But we essentially act that way, I've had so many new experiences with him and shared so many things with him I've never shared with anyone before.

Over the last year - we've had DTR talks intermittently, mostly coming to the conclusion of I'm not really sure where this is going but I like exploring it. Our most recent talk, however ended with him saying - 'look, I still don't know if I see this long term, and at this point I feel like me not knowing is essentially a 'no'. Because I owe it to myself and whoever I end up with to know for sure that this is "it".

In my perspective, I don't know if he's it forever but I've really grown to like and care about him over the past year - he is really special to me. Obviously, no relationship is perfect and nobody knows the future, but with him it makes sense and I want to officially date him and I want to take things further. But at the end of the day I can't blame him for wanting to find his own happiness, even if it's not with me. And I should be with someone who knows they want to be with me.

But that doesn't make any of this easier. Ever since we had the talk, we both kind of knew things would have to end, but neither of us pulled the trigger. We've since just been hanging out and talking everyday like we normally do - and for me, I want to continue to live in my happy bubble of spending time with him - but it's slowly hurting me more and more knowing that he doesn't think I'm the one for him and that this wil eventually end.

I was fine before him, and I will be fine after him - but the thought of going back to pandemic life without him really makes me sad. I know there will never be a good time to end things, but I'm having a really hard time getting the push I need to do what's best for me. I just like him so much, I cherish the time we spend together so much, and I just really, really don't want it to end. I'm not ready. It's like I'm damnned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't. I feel so stuck. I could really use some advice.

TLDR: Unofficially but exclusively dating guy I met for past year. Really think he is special and care about him a lot, but he's recently told me he doesn't know if I'm "the one". Neither of us ended it though - we still hangout and we still talk everyday. He is really special to me, but I know that I need to end if he feels that way. Just really breaking my heart to stay in it and also breaking my heart to get out of it. Need advice.

submitted by /u/con_mo
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