I'm 24 and I am in the weirdest position in my life right now but that has taught me that you can love yourself and change yourself and work on every single area you can think of and if it does genuinely make you feel better then that's a positive, but something that does bother me is when people say if you do this you'll just get out there and make friends and someone will be interested because that's not how it works
I'm a super nerd but my problem was I was never out in the open with my nerdiness but all of that changed around my junior year of high school and ever since I told myself to be out in the open with it I've made better friends and I've become way more social and my artwork soared.
And I even got a girlfriend if my new phone supposed confidence attracted her but she was an abusive girl and not really compatible
but looking back I wish I would have never met her and just kept that newfound confidence because there is no guarantee
Sure someone could probably perceive you as something and especially if you are physically mentally changing but no one is actively seeing most of your hard work
And it's weird because as an artist it happens in real time as I'm looking back at old paintings I did when I was like 15 and comparing them to now at 24 and I am glad my hard work paid off but at the same time no one saw this happening and even though you can't jump start your progress it's also crazy that people assign value to another working progress which is what all humans are
And I could be said about social skills or any other skill that is supposedly traditionally attractive because no one really sees it and even if you do have this trait how could they know and even if you do, it's still no guarantee that they will be attracted to you
I went from super mega nerdy to super charismatic and loving myself but something that I have learned is that not everybody is going to enjoy that cup of tea and even though I enjoy my newfound love I also know that some of my traits can come off as weakness and not masculine and even though I know I'm not week and that I am masculine I am also socially aware enough to know that some girls may not be receptive to it
The current me right now had to work hard for that but I also had to accept that some people may not see me in a good light and I accept that but you see how that does shatter the entire love yourself mentality
Now don't get me wrong everybody should be self-improving but for the right reasons and with the healthy bit of skepticism that it will be a life changer.
I am super proud of myself and glad I went through that journey in my life but something I wish I could tell myself is that this is not going to fix all of your problems and social interaction and dating have way more nuance than just get ripped and become super smart
just at New Year's I went on a pretty bad date but I have been pretty much the same for the past year without much improvement other than the physical but even still I got a date.but according to Reddit I would have had to put in at least two to three years of maximizing everything to finally be up to bat
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