Anyone else unable to go from "talking" and multiple dates into a relationship?

I'm trying to figure out why I'm unable to find a relationship despite going on lots of dates.

I'm a guy in my mid-20's in a major US city, and I typically go on 2 dates a week from Hinge/Bumble. However afterwards, only half of those dates am I interested in going out with again, and ~75% those girls are mutually interested (So I go on 10 first dates to maybe find 2 people that I share mutual attraction with to start).

The following dates are usually pretty great; we'll do picnics, cook dinner together, spend hours talking, etc. They'll tell me they're looking forward to seeing me again, invite me back to their place, and half the time they're proposing the time/location for the next date. A few times I've had sexual performance issues from alcohol or anxiety (those girls never wanted to go out again) but overall I think I'm a good partner in bed and am very focused on their pleasure. Then after date 4/5/6, typically with another date planned, I'll get a "You're a great guy but {insert reason/excuse}" text and that'll be the end of things. Then I’d usually take a break from dating for a while, then start the cycle over.

This has happened to me multiple times a year for last couple years. I don’t know if doing anything wrong or if I've just had bad luck. I've also called things off after several dates a few times as I didn't feel strongly enough so I know that there doesn't have to be anything "wrong" with me, but at this point I'm not sure.

Now once I've started going on a couple dates with someone, even if it's going well in the back of my mind I already expect that it won't work out, so it's not as painful for me when things end. I'm very independent and am (mostly) happy with my life and who I am; I try to have a Stoic mentality that I can't control external factors, but I can try to control how I react to them.

But damn it's tiring to go on a bunch of first dates trying to find someone I'm interested in, finally finding someone and going on multiple dates with them, then for things to not work out. That happening over and over makes me feel like shit and there's something wrong with me.

Can anyone else relate to this? Is there something I should be doing at that stage of dating that I’m not aware of, or how can I break this cycle?

submitted by /u/fearless_eagle
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