Treating a woman well requires a combination of common courtesy and uncommon acts of love and kindness. Follow the steps below, and soon your woman will see you for what you are: one of the good guys.
1) Communicate your feelings. Some men underestimate the importance of telling a woman how they feel. In many cases, men prefer to use actions rather than words to communicate their feelings. If that sounds like you, you should know that women need to hear "I love you" from time to time, so make it a point to express that sentiment. If you have trouble saying the words, try writing a note or getting a card to let her know how you feel.
- The good news: turns out that men are more often the ones to declare feelings of love first in a relationship. Research has determined that men take only 88 days to tell their partner they love them (compared to a woman's 134) while another study says men say "I love you" first 70% of the time.
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Watch your timing. Women prefer to hear "I love you" after sex rather than before. It could be they distrust the words a bit if they're uttered before sex as it makes them wonder if your saying "I love you" simply to get some action.
2) Be a good listener. Everyone--not only women--wants to be heard. If you know how to listen, your woman will greatly appreciate it, and the bond between you two will grow. Try these tips to be a better listener.
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Get rid of distractions. That might mean turning off the ballgame or ignoring the text you just got. Try to keep from interrupting unless the question is crucial to your understanding of the situation. Putting your focus completely on your woman shows her that she's important and that you value and are interested in what she has to say.
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Read non-verbal cues. Gestures, facial expressions, and eye-movements can all be important. Don't just listen with your ears but also with your eyes so you can gain greater insight into what she's feeling.
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See things from her point of view. Your girlfriend or wife may be upset about something that would never trouble you, or she might describe a scenario you can't imagine being a part of--but you have to try. Put yourself in her shoes to try to understand what she's communicating more clearly. Even if you don't agree with her reaction or her opinion, keep an open mind and let her know that in any dispute you're always on her side.
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Refrain from solving the problem. When a woman is talking through a problem she's facing, a man's first response is to jump in and try to solve it. That impulse comes from a good place, but it's not what a woman wants. She simply wants to be heard, so refrain from coming to the rescue with a solution for the situation. If she does ask your opinion about what she should do, feel free to offer your suggestions, but don't be offended if she chooses a different course of action.
3) Ask her how she's feeling. In many cases, you'll know exactly how the woman in your life is feeling, but sometimes, especially when a relationship is new, you'll have to ask. Researchers in a study published in the journal PLOS showed men images of eyes belonging to men and women and discovered that it was twice as difficult for the men to accurately guess what women were feeling as it was for them to guess what the men were feeling. They also took longer attempting to interpret the women's eyes.
4) Fight fair. Even the closest of couples will have arguments; what's important is how you talk to your woman during those disagreements. Do not call names or make threats or use physical intimidation. When the fight is over, don't hold on to hurt feelings; reach out and meet your woman halfway in making up. Do not discount her feelings by being defensive or try to end the fight by just cutting her off. We all need validation for our feelings.
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