I have never been in a relationship and I have been on a few dates around a decade ago. I have slept with guys but just friends, and the last time was a few years ago.
I want to start dating seriously this year and have been using dating apps for a while now because my dreams of meeting someone spontaneously over fresh fruit at the supermarket is a distant fantasy. I don't have a problem getting matches, my problems are:
1) I can't sustain a conversation by text, even the ones I find mildly interesting. I completely forget about them and it feels like an effort to reply when I do remember.
2) Leading on from the last point, I know I want a relationship but I can't sustain the motivation. This means I really want a relationship for about two weeks and then the desire vanishes. This wouldn't be a problem if it didn't happen often and it is the same cycle repeating itself over and over.
3) On the very rare occasions I have managed to get to the point where we start talking about arranging a time to meet, I start replying less and less until one of us gives up. I think it might be anxiety, which I guess would be normal, but it is annoying because over the past year I have improved my self-esteem a lot and the thought of meeting people makes me doubt myself and I don't like the feeling.
4) I am probably older than average to start dating and have no experience. When people in my life give me advice they tell me to be very vague about my my dating experiences because it will put men off and there have been a few men that have freaked out when I tell them I've never had a boyfriend. I truly can't tell if this is good advice because I know nothing, it seems deceptive but thought I would post it here for views.
I am at the stage in my life where I actually want a relationship and I feel pretty shitty leading these guys on and disappearing. I don't intend to ghost when I start speaking with them and I want to stop that behaviour. If anyone has any similar experiences they can share or some advice, websites, resources about dating and being a terrible texter; dating late; keeping up motivation; getting over the fear etc I would greatly appreciate it.
TLDR: I've decided I want to have a relationship but I am terrible at texting back, unreliable motivation and no experience.
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