Matthew and I met on bumble 3.5 months ago. We saw each other 4 times (weekend-long visits) and we at least had a short phone call every day. I knew he had ADHD. He had been taking Prozac and recently started Adderall. We had had issues since the beginning with him being distracted, forgetful, and inconsistent. I met his dad this past weekend and he told me his son was diagnosed with autism only a year ago. This made some of Matthew’s behavior make more sense. The dad told me that Matthew is not currently able to be the partner I am looking for and I should find someone else. I learned some more things about Matthew that Matthew had never shared. I felt like a lot had been hidden from me. I understand why Matthew kept some things from me, but it was still upsetting.
I’ve never experienced this before and it’s been hard to process. He has a lot to learn about who he is and it’s clear he hasn’t accepted this part of himself. I care about him a lot but we both know now is not the time for us. This “breakup” is sad because he could’ve been the right one if his mind wasn’t working against him. I can’t blame him. I only have love in my heart for him.
ETA: I’ve been told I need to add the following info to my post: I ended the relationship not due to learning of his diagnosis, but because of previous behavior that I now know will not be changed any time soon. This behavior includes lying about deleting his dating apps, hiding the fact that he was talking to other women for attention, not being truthful about his work history, not disclosing his diagnosis and his past issues with alcohol, and more.
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